December 6, 2022

The Haiku Handicapper handicaps the Queen’s Plate


Freelance journalist Joe Nevills analyzes the field for the 2018 Queen’s Plate on Saturday at Woodbine using Haiku, a form of Japanese the uses a 17-syllable structure with 3 lines of 5, 7, and 5 syllables each.

#1 – Boyhood Dream

Up the class ladder
After going down a chute
The top Ramsey shot

#2 – Cooler Mike
Fourth-itis last year
But he’s come along at three
Tough to win up front

#3 – Inge
The fraction-setter
Has been an outstanding claim
Distance a hard ask

#4 – Strike Me Down
Not much to dislike
Breeding, record, connections
Decent-priced win threat

#5 – Silent Poet
Adding three furlongs
From his prior longest race
Could land anywhere

#6 – Real Dude
Has the right bloodline
But he lacks experience
Best of the maidens

#7 – Dixie Moon
Hard-fought Oaks winner
Is on her preferred surface
And has beaten boys

#8 – Alternate Route
You’d think it would click
The Turfway/Woodbine angle
Doubt it helps this one

#9 – Say the Word
Can’t count out Sam-Son
Though standout traits are lacking
For win or longshot

#10 – Telekinesis
Plate Trial winner
Doesn’t have much quit in him
It’ll go through him

#11 – Wonder Gadot
Battle-tough filly
Always shows up at the end
Seldom in first place

#12 – Pawnbroker
Use a skeptic’s eye
Like Rick Harrison’s haggling
Looks like a Chumlee

#13 – Marriage Counselor
Just graduated
In his fourth attempt against
Maiden claiming foes

#14 – Neepawa
Geroux’s a big get
But on the Casse food chain,
He’s a solid third

#15 – Aheadbyacentury
Snags a good rider
Everything else about him
Cries out “second tier”

#16 – Rose’s Vision
Shock Trial second
Gives Javi the assignment
A hard one to toss

Weathers a stretch slugfest with
Dixie Moon, Gadot

follow Nevills on Twitter @Joe_Nevills and all the Queen’s Plate action with hashtag #QP18